Visual Diary #4 : Saying Goodbye

Here’s a rather emotional diary entry.

In this instalment, I say bon voyage to my best friend, Diyanah. She moved to Japan to start a new chapter in her life. I couldn’t be happier for her, though in the video, it really doesn’t seem that way. I promise you I am happy for her. It was a bittersweet moment as we have always been childhood friends and I couldn’t imagine not having her around.

It’s a more personal post for me. But I wanted to stay true to my diary format and be real.

It wasn’t the video that I had imagined in my mind. However, I did my best to put together something as it’s a pretty big moment for me.

 

Hopefully you guys enjoy it!

The Thing About Beauty YouTubers…

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Let’s talk YouTube for a second.

I am an avid fan of YouTube. It has replaced television channels in my life. Not to mention my addiction to beauty channels, it’s almost unhealthy. I watch them religiously and follow massive amounts of beauty Youtubers. After years of watching beauty videos, watching the market get more and more saturated, I realised that slowly I have been unsubscribing to more channels than I am subscribing to new channels.

“YOUTUBE IS BROKEN” was a major headline that went viral.

Apparently, people have been unsubscribed to channels and there has been a general decline in views. While, I do believe that YouTube has been tinkering things around without communicating the changes they have applied, I also believe that people are unsubscribing actively. Or perhaps auto unsubscribing to channels where you are a dormant subscriber.

I too realise that I have not been watching as many beauty videos as I used to.

Why?

Because it’s ALL THE SAME.

 

Sponsorships

This argument has been going on for ages. People hate sponsorships because it destroys the credibility of a YouTuber. At the same time, some sponsorships come from genuine love of the products being advertised. Ultimately, they are paid to say the things that they say. And this tarnishes the integrity of the YouTuber, even though the viewer is aware that this is their job.

My preference was to simply skip sponsored videos altogether. While it is easy with UK YouTubers that indicate their sponsorships with a #AD on the title, it’s tougher to distinguish with other YouTubers.

The worst parts about sponsorships are the scripted dialog and the giant infestation that appears in your subscription box, because the videos are scheduled to be released around the same time. Furthermore, big companies would reach out to several influencers all at once. Next thing you know, your subscription box is filled with “so-and-so” lipstick or some random hair tool.

Just. No.

 

PR

Even if the video is not technically “sponsored”, more often than not large beauty companies will send out free PR packages containing the products they want to promote for these YouTubers to try. We are talking GIANT boxes filled to the brim with products. More than any one person can fathom to use to its entirety before it goes bad. Most of the time, they use these PR products for giveaways.

Most of these PR packages are sent out all at once to a plethora of influencers. So in certain portions of the year, you get a bunch of YouTubers mentioning the same products again and again because it is a new product they were sent. Therefore, even if the companies are not officially sponsoring these YouTubers, because they are all sent the same batches of products from companies, eventually they end up talking about the same products.

It’s inevitable. And incredibly boring.

 

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Constant Newness

On top of that, subscribers have the expectations that these YouTubers always have their hands on the pulse of the beauty community. Hence, these influencers are constantly talking about whatever’s new. Whatever it is that they were raving about 4 months ago is conveniently forgotten to make room for newer things. It is exactly what the large beauty companies want. They want you to keep buying and buying anything that’s new.

It cultivates a wasteful culture, which I had fallen prey to myself. I lose interest in products quickly and move on to new things faster than I can actually finish one. It’s horrible! It’s wasteful to the environment and it’s wasteful to my wallet. Whatever product is hyped at the moment is THE thing I want to get my hands on, completely disregarding the copious amounts of stuff I still have yet to use up.

Therefore, essentially, the videos are constantly about whatever’s new at the time. YouTubers are hardly talking about the older products again and again even if they are their tried and true. They will mention one or two offhand but these videos matter less than ones involving new things. It leads to perfectly good items being discontinued and overlooked. The companies also churn out product after product, launching something new every other week, in order to stay relevant and in the spotlight.

 

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What’s next?

My rant is tapering to an end. I was just overwhelmed with a sudden wave of anger and annoyance as I was trying to find something to watch on YouTube. The videos that started out as a friend recommending products to other people became an advertising platform. So much so that majority of the videos currently are paid in some form or other.

Nothing is genuine anymore.

There is no difference between watching a youtube “Get Ready With Me” video and a full-blown ad on the telly.

For those who are looking for integrity, look for smaller YouTubers that don’t try to emulate the “popular crowd” too much. For solid beauty recommendations, go for Emily Noel’s, she has never done a sponsored video in all her years on YouTube. Stephanie Nicole is also infamous for her scathingly honest review. As for skincare, I love Gothamista’s videos as they are filled with information and honest recommendations.

 

What do you think about the current state of YouTube?

Ultimately, I will probably stray away from YouTube, beauty-wise. I am going to be focusing on using up the stuff I have now and forming my own opinions on things. YouTube is in dire need of originality. If I want to see paid posts, I might as well opt for Vogue.

Mustering Motivation

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Let’s talk about something people rarely talk about: Motivation. To me, motivation isn’t just a means to work harder or in the wise words of Pokemon, “To be the very best that no one ever was.” Motivation is so much more than that. It is drive, passion but most of all, it’s part of staying sane and waking up in the morning with a sense of purpose.

Be it a fitness routine you recently started or a job that you took up. Staying motivated in life, in general, can be a tough thing. Mostly because getting motivated isn’t the hard part, being consistent is the issue.

I don’t want to talk about motivation in relation to a specific thing. Instead, I want to talk about staying motivated to keep going against all odds. The motivation to get out of bed and do something without someone telling you to do so. In simple terms, to be able to find reasons to do something continuously which essentially, to me, is being motivated to continue living life to the fullest.

This is particularly tough, if like me, you are facing a trying period in your life where it’s so easy to just give up, be a sloth and permanently fuse your body to the bed.

 

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Giving Up

Giving up doesn’t necessarily mean failure. Sometimes, accepting your fate and falling into a routine that doesn’t make you feel fulfilled is also giving up. Settling for any aspect of your life and accepting things as they are without the urge to fight for something more can be a form of giving up and falling into an imposturous rut.

This is possibly the hardest thing to do. Because fighting for something is the most tiring thing to do. And it is so easy to just wave that white flag and surrender. Be it a new diet plan or in my case, finding an occupation in a field that I love, sticking to the plan and continuing with the fight everyday takes not just a physical toll, but a mental one. Often times I find myself thinking, “I should just forget this.” and it takes double the effort when you are faced with a setback or rejection.

I say this to myself as much as I say this to you guys, “Don’t give up.” Giving up is not an option. Don’t even consider it. Put on your horse blinders and keep looking forward. If you give that thought even the time of day, it will stick to you. And it’s a bitch to shake it off. Trust me. I’ve been there.

 

Disregard the External

Millennials tend to be obsessed with new age careers. I get asked several times if I am planning to “make it” as a YouTuber or a blogger, making it my career. People tend to assume things and pass judgements without bothering to hear the whole story. I get so annoyed and distracted by the opinions of others that it ends up affecting my mood and outlook on things.

For the record, I think YouTubers and bloggers are awesome. I consume their content like a voracious animal, starved for days. I am constantly on the internet, watching Youtube videos and reading blog posts about all things. Despite all that, I don’t idolise them nor aspire to be one of them. I love how creative some creators are and they inspire me, but never will I strive to be exactly like them.

Therefore, with the start of me writing on this site and then later, creating some vlogs, many think that I trying to make a livelihood out of this. In actuality, this is genuinely something that I enjoy doing for fun and is an outlet for my creativity.

Nevertheless, I still get affected when people judge my content with the assumption that this is my hustle, rather than enjoy it for what it is. Don’t let external factors drive your motivation. Do it for yourself. I keep doing what I love regardless negative feedback I get and focus on producing things I enjoy.

 

Doing Things You Love

Which brings me to this section. As cliched as it sounds, the best way to stay motivated is to find the things that you love in the grand master scheme of things. Whether its your fitness routine or learning a new language. Just life in general, it’s good to just find even the smallest of pleasures in daunting tasks.

Going back to my point on YouTubers and bloggers, I always look to them as a source inspiration, fuelling ideas and potential projects. For instance, I am constantly inspired by HeyClaire and Will Darbyshire’s videos. They make me want to learn more and do something productive, on top of whatever mundane thing I have to do that day.

Collabing and meeting people who have similar interests allows you to feed and bounce off their energy. Recently, I said yes to a shoot with Khai from @fittysense. The old me would’ve said no for fear of screwing up or listening to my insecurities. Instead, we ended up taking some cool shots and talking about different artistic directions we might explore. Bouncing ideas is one of the things I love most about the creative process and thus gave me a huge boost in motivation.

 

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Ultimately, I realise that this is a fluid subject. Being motivated can pertain to a career, a new lifestyle or working towards a personal goal. To some, it is required just to get out of bed in the morning. To me, it is staying sane, finding purpose in what you do. Whether that purpose aligns with the world, it doesn’t mater. As long as you find a purpose in it. That’s all that matters. And that purpose, be it happiness or self-improvement, will keep you going against all odds.

Photos by Khairulazmas

Instagram : @fittysense